Win a Mei Tai Baby Carrier from Ecobebes.eu

 Ellie says:

'First of all I am delighted to be hosting this competition in conjunction with Dispelling Breastfeeding Myths.  This page and blog has been a real inspiration and saviour to me over the past couple of years as I’m sure it has been to many of you. 

I am Ellie, a breastfeeding mum of 16 month old twins, mum to a 3 year old and the owner of Ecobebes.eu. We are a family run business located in Norfolk, UK. We started our company in 2009 on the Costa del Sol, Spain originally as a supplier of washable nappies.  When I was pregnant with our first child we decided to use cloth nappies, but we found the market very limited on the continent so imported ours via relatives in America.  After our daughter was born we were frequently asked about our choice of nappies and where we bought them.  We realised there was a market for them on the continent so EcoBebes.eu was born.

In February 2011 we were delighted to welcome the arrival of our twin boys, Felix and Sebastian. Our business was put on hold while we muddled through their first year. I think I spent the majority of it curled up on a sofa feeding! We relocated to the UK when they were 3 months old. We have settled in to the English way of life and are busy trying to expand the business and introduce new product lines especially different types of baby slings and carriers. 

I have a real passion for babywearing that started with the purchase of my first stretchy wrap when my daughter was born. Bella and I spent many months cuddled together in a wrap. In fact I'm not even sure I used the stroller more than a handful of times in the first 6 months! As she got bigger and heavier I looked for other options to carry her and discovered the beauty of Mei Tais.  I have a bit of an obsession with slings and carriers and own many types but the Mei Tai is my “go to” carrier.  I love the simplicity of it, the way you can achieve many different holds, the support it offers and the funky fabrics.  

It is for this reason I am offering a Mei Tai Baby carrier as our competition prize! I want others to have the chance to explore the beauty of the Mei Tai.  I have selected Black and White Vines with black straps for our winner.  This design is classic but striking and looks even more gorgeous “in the flesh”.'

Mei Tai : 'Black and White Vines'

To be in with a chance of winning you need to do the following:


1/ Email your answer to the following question to dispellingbreastfeedingmyths@hotmail.co.uk 

'How many different Mei Tai Baby designs do Ecobebes offer in their store?' 

2/ 'Like' the Ecobebe Facebook page *HERE*

NB - Ecobebes.eu will post WORLDWIDE so this competition is open to EVERYONE.

Please share! 

Mei Tai: 'Black and White Vines'

Breastfeeding - Beyond the first month...

Guest Blog by Andmybaby as part of the 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding' Scavenger Hunt

'When I started out breastfeeding, it felt like I'd never make it past the first hour, not to mind the first whole MONTH! But after a few initial struggles, I found breastfeeding like riding a bike...a few worries, a few falls, many doubts...however after setting myself a ten day goal, which passed unnoticed, I was indeed on my way to the month mark! In fact, hitting the 4 week mark, or even more especially, the 6 week mark, I was really getting into my stride.

So beyond the first month...I had no worries, no struggles, well yes...there was a little sleep deprivation (I hadn't come across co-sleeping yet!)...Little M had established his own rhythm and I had grown to know his little signs, his needs. My confidence feeding out n' about was growing, in fact I was darn proud of my mama-skills and fed him at playgroups, in cafés, everywhere. I was a little nervous around some people but learned to work around it. My breastfeeding goal had been 6 months, maybe 4...(at the time I thought the WHO recommended up to 6 months).

By 4 months, he was still my little baby...I was still in my stride, enjoying the mama and baby scene, by 6 months...give up? Give up breastfeeding? After all the work it took to get going? No way was I stopping now! I also knew by now that the WHO recommends far longer than just 6 months, that's just til solids are introduced...silly me! But to keep going til 2, well that seemed a long time. So I continued nurturing my little babe, in the way I knew how, I knew his every breath, his every joy...and I loved it. I didn't know how long I'd nurse him for but it didn't seem to matter, it was one day at a time, one week at a time and it was all good.

Before I knew it, I was in a cake accessories shop buying birthday props for my wee man's very first birthday. We had a huge, ginormous, gigantic celebration! We went over the top, nothing expensive, just way too many people and lots of food and happiness. We were damn proud of making it to this stage! I remember thinking about his age and weaning but everything inside me said no, keeping feeding your baby, it's working so well. I didn't want him to have weaning added as a birthday 'blessing' either!

And so we continued on until he turned 2...now I might add, there have been plenty of times when I've felt that I should stop and that he should be weaned by now. Usually followed by visits to places/people where breastfeeding even a small baby isn't the norm. But each time I feel like this, I reflect on me...well and him of course, my little nursling. In my bubble, ignoring any societal pressure where it's not seen as the norm, for us, it works wonderfully! Since learning to co-sleep (safely), night parenting became a pleasure...my husband and I grew to love the little snuggle-monster hogging our bed-space. It's just how we roll. It's how I parent my boy...toddler tantrums are nowhere to be seen...and I mean that - his navigation and coming to terms with this big bad world is buffered by his attachment to me. And my baby comes to me for cuddles. I go on instinct and it is working super well for us 2 and a 1/2 years on.

Of course it's hard to live in reality and keep thinking you're sane to be feeding an enormous 2 and a 1/2 year old...there have been times where I've felt quite an oddball. Take hen parties for example...no I can't stay out til 4am in a hotel 200 miles away from my 2 and 1/2 year old. I've made compromises though and taken my hubby with me to stay in the neighbouring hotel. There's always an alternative if you want it badly enough. Weddings are another minefield, where it's often assumed parents would (and should) relish 'a night away' from their kids. This is where support systems come in...I was lucky in that I didn't need (too) much support apart from latching help back in the newborn days...but once this boy turned one, boy did I need it! I went along to my local La Leche League meeting & never looked back. Twice a month, I went to coffee mornings and had my 'cup refilled'. Here, my way of parenting was not only seen as normal, they had a whole load of evidence to back up all these 'instinctual feelings' I'd had had since Little M's birth. It was like coming home. I might add here too that I'm insanely lucky to have a very pro-breastfeeding husband. (Well how else are we going to create the ultimate sports machine?!!)

I learned all sorts of things about babies' biological norms...one La Leche leader, who has since become a close friend...applauded my son not sleeping through the night! Hurray she said, he is doing exactly what he should be doing, what a clever baby! He's protecting himself against SIDS and making sure he gets the best quality milk, which comes at night-time.

I realize how things could have been different and with a rocky start and a difficult birth, I might not have succeeded in breastfeeding even as far as the first week, not to mind the first month. I am utterly grateful to a nurse in hospital who gave me her undivided attention, apparently this is rare. I think she saw somebody who really, really wanted to breastfeed? I often wonder what I would have done without her... My parenting is wholly based on breastfeeding, it covers all bases and eases a lot of worry for me, I'm not sure how I'd have fared without it. When I think of all the upsets it has fixed, the sicknesses it has soothed, the travel disturbances eased, the uneaten vegetables it has more than made up for...it has been my rock.

So breastfeeding beyond the first month...what would I say about it? What's left to say? I guess for me, breastfeeding started out as 'feeding from my breast', learning a skill...over the months it developed into something more...it became us, it became parenting, it became comfort, sustenance, mothering, it sort of gets to the point (I think around the 6 month mark) where you forget about breastfeeding, it's just what you do.'

Áine is a stay at home mother of one (and one on the way) and a former primary teacher. She lives in Dublin with her husband. Áine started her blog andmybaby.ie in 2011 to reach out to any Irish mothers who felt isolated in their choice to breastfeed as the rates are very low. Her interests include politics, women's health, especially maternal health and birth services, child development and media. She adores being outdoors with her son and friends and set up an outdoor playgroup in Dublin, Free-Range Kids. 

'Like' Andmybaby's facebook page here.

Remember - there is one more Ardo Amaryll breast pump for grabs during this final week! Enter below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Now visit some of the other great blogs taking part in the 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding' Scavenger Hunt!

Diary of a First Child

My Mummy's Pennies

Edspire

Breast 4 Babies

My Thoughts on Things

Love to be Natural Baby Carrier - WINNER!

I'm delighted to announce that the winner (chosen at random) of the GORGEOUS Tula 'Folk Birds' Baby Carrier from Love to be Natural is:

STEPH BARLETT

I'll email you Steph and I hope you enjoy your prize - I will email you!

Hugest thanks to Beth and Colin at Love to be Natural for facilitating this competition.


Thanks also to everyone who entered :) 

x anne


PS - 'like' their facebook page HERE 

Are we medicating instead of supporting?

This week's theme on the Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt is 'Breastfeeding Support' and this week we've got TWO amazing prizes to give away!  Ardo have donated another Amaryll Manual Breast Pump, and the fabulous Juno Magazine are giving away A YEAR'S SUBSCRIPTION!  Information about how to enter is at the bottom of this post. 

DBM is all about breastfeeding support, and our Facebook group is almost two years old now. In that time it has turned into a vibrant online community with links to lots of other communities.  If the peer support we provide isn't the answer, then it's easy for us to signpost people to where they need to be.  Sometimes that means providing them with information about other online resources, and sometimes it means facilitating contact with real-life support groups or counselling.  In the early days I encountered disapproval from some quarters about the idea of having an 'online support group'.  Even just two years ago a few people seemed uneasy about someone using the internet as a means to support breastfeeding mothers.  Now though, it seems like everyone is doing it!  Lactation Consultants are taking part in (online) seminars about how to make the social media 'work' for them and many offer consultations over Skype.  Established breastfeeding support organisations are setting up Facebook groups.  Researchers are studying the impact of online breastfeeding support.  Mothers are even sharing their milk through online milk-sharing resources.  I'll predict that the next big thing in online support will be a 'Google+ Hangout' where breastfeeding mums can chat face-to-face. join DBM on Google+  - more info on our 'hangouts' will be coming soon - you heard it here first! ;)

Q: 'Why is there so much demand for online support?'

The background to breastfeeding's 'fall from grace' dates back (roughly) to the industrial revolution.  Small, mostly rural populations began relocating to the big cities in search of work and long-established communities were broken up (more on this here).  The upshot was that the support and knowledge previously found within those tight-knit communities got lost.  That included knowledge about breastfeeding.  As families struggled to cope with economic strain they increasingly turned to artificial feeding methods.  

Formula milk can be life-saving.  In the UK it is sold as a food, but some people think it should be re-classified as a medicine and indeed it is developed and produced by Pharmaceutical companies.  If we ask the question 'who benefits when breastfeeding fails?' then the answer most definitely is 'Big Pharma'.

How many of you live in the same street as your parents or extended families?  How many of you live close to another lactating mother you trust?   How many of you grew up watching your mother/ sisters/ cousins breastfeeding?  

If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions then I probably don't need to tell you you're in a tiny minority.  In two hundred years not a whole lot has changed.  Now, as then, in our fragmented society individuals are very often not part of a close-knit and supportive community where breastfeeding is the norm.  As a result breastfeeding is more likely to fail.  In step the pharmaceutical companies with their breast milk substitutes and away we go..  In 2005 'Big Pharma' were feeding almost 100% of British babies at age 6 months.  Although 25% of infants were still getting some breast milk, the number being exclusively breastfed was 'negligible' (IFS 2005).  

When you had your baby did a close friend or relative come to stay with you?  Did someone else prepare meals for you to eat?  Was there usually someone around to hold your baby for you while you went to the toilet or took a quick shower?  Did you get the emotional and practical support you needed in the weeks and months after birth? 

Obviously I hope your answer to all of these questions is 'yes', but speaking personally, not a bit of it!  In the past 9 months I've had a baby and looked after my older child at home whilst also breastfeeding a lot. It has been tough going at times! Some tips on how to manage breastfeeding a new baby and looking after a pre-schooler are here. I've not suffered from post-natal depression, but there have been moments when I've asked myself:  'is this hormonal and sheer exhaustion or something more?'.  If I had been suffering from post-natal depression and I'd talked to my health visitor or doctor about it, what do you think they would have done?  Would they have sent me round a post-natal doula to help lighten the load?  Would they have put in place a 'care plan' for the new mum with PND/ PPD?  Doubtful.  I think it's likely that I'd have been given a prescription for an antidepressant following a ten minute consultation.  Now not for a single minute am I saying that anti-depressants are a bad thing, absolutely not.  For some people they are a life-line (and I've had my share), but isn't it possible that in some cases what new mums really need is good old-fashioned support?  Someone to help out with the practical stuff, provide a listening ear and some tea and sympathy?  When a tearful new mother goes to her GP in search of help is a pharmaceutical product always the best option?  And if it's not, what other realistic options are there?  

A 2004 study published in the British Journal of Psychiatry looked at unhappiness following childbirth in various countries around the world and found that:  

'the strongly uniting emergent theme was that of acceptance, understanding, and social support from within family and social networks and of talking therapies if professional help was sought.' (I highlighted the words 'social networks' in the above because I think it's interesting...)

In a fragmented society where new mothers often struggle for lack of support are we filling the gap with pills instead of people?  

When you were growing up, did you listen whilst women in nearby houses gave birth?  Did you know the name of the local midwife who was likely to attend you in labour?  Did your family or another family nearby own a birthing stool?  Did you have a good idea of where you would give birth when the time came?

In this C21st I suspect most people would answer 'no' to these questions, however until relatively recently in the UK (within living memory in some cases), the answer would likely have been 'yes'.  These days the homebirth rate averages around 2% in England (and a mere 0.5% where I live), so the vast majority of people are now giving birth in hospital.  Funnily enough, most of us don't feel at our most confident or empowered when we're in a hospital, after all, it's someone else's domain.  Small things like having to ask where the toilet is or whether you're 'allowed' to eat or have a drink, can make even the most confident person feel uneasy - especially at such a vulnerable time.  The hormones of birth work best when we feel comfortable, calm, and safe.  Small wonder then, that so many healthy women who start out labouring well at home find things slow down on arrival at a hospital full of bright lights, strange noises and new faces.  It's not a problem though, because (you've guessed it!) there's a pharmaceutical solution!  Artificial oxytocin (aka syntocinon/ pitocin) can be given to force the uterus to contract and get things moving again - but it's not without risk.  And of course there are the many medical and non-medical solutions mothers can turn to if they feel they need pain relief.  

BUT, incredibly perhaps, it seems that simple support can actually reduce the amount of pain relief mothers need, and it makes medical intervention less likely.  Research also shows that mums are more likely to breastfeed when they have a doula(1).  When women have the constant support of a trusted birth companion they birth more easily and need fewer drugs - it's as simple as that.

A recent experience parenting my three year old really brought home to me how tempting it can be to medicate our way our of human problems.  My eldest daughter has various food intolerances (we're a work-in-progress) and of late she had been reluctant to use the toilet.  She had begun holding on for a day or two, getting grumpier and grumpier in the process.  She wanted to put on a nappy to poo.  We took her to see a doctor regarding something (apparently) unrelated, and whilst there we mentioned her reluctance to poo.  The consultant we saw told us to give her a daily laxative to 'give her no choice' but to go, and we were to keep giving her this for 6 to 9 months.  Once we'd picked our jaws up off the floor, we returned home wondering what to do for the best.  After all - this was a doctor's advice!  

But then I remembered, I'm her mother.  

We didn't fill the prescription.  One of the things I did do to help her* was spend the best part of an evening sitting on the bathroom floor with her sitting on the toilet in something of a suburban 'Mexican stand-off'.  Without going into too much detail she didn't need a laxative at all, she just needed my time, some dietary changes, emotional support, and a bit of an incentive...  That was more than a month ago now, and since then she has 'gone' on the toilet at least once a day and usually more.  She is very proud of herself and I'm proud of her too.  I'm also very relieved that I didn't give her a drug which put her at risk of soiling herself just to get her over the hump**. 

Are we sometimes turning to the pharmaceutical industry for solutions instead of investing time and energy in one another?  Are doctors writing prescriptions because they simply don't have the time to do anything else?  Are we all so disconnected from our 'tribes' that we've forgotten that we need them?  In an ever more stressful and disconnected world are some of us turning to alcohol, drugs, or food to fill the voids in our lives?  Are we self-medicating?  Where does it all end?

I believe that social media has enabled people to begin to revive and reconnect with some of the knowledge and support lost over two hundred years ago.  The help I got via the internet helped me to breastfeed my first daughter, it helped me to birth her sister peacefully and it's helping me to make better choices in many other areas of my life.  Through social media, we are finding new sources of support - and it's not all virtual.  Friendships made online very often become real-life friendships - I know they have for me.  With friendship and acceptance comes confidence, and with confidence comes change.

I don't know if there are any statistics on it, but I would like to bet that human milk-sharing takes place more often than five years ago, meaning that fewer babies receive formula milk than might have done so otherwise.  I will also bet that more women are continuing to breastfeed their babies beyond infancy and if I'm right, then I believe the internet will have played no small part in that.  We certainly have a long way to go before everyone has the support they need on a practical level, but the internet can provide sources of emotional support and information 24/7, and where breastfeeding is concerned that's invaluable. 

Can the internet help provide support in other areas of life too?  Of course it can!  Post-natal support groups?  Check.  Information about alternatives to medication and non-mainstream therapies?  Check.  Information about pregnancy and birth options?  Check.  I could go on.


So, why is there so much demand for online support?

A: 'There is a demand for online support because there is a lack of real-life support.'

Some anthropologists argue that we are essentially tribal beings, and I think I agree with that.  The internet goes some way towards fulfilling a need we all have for a sense of community and support - that's why social media is so successful. 
But can the 'virtual' ever be tangible?  For me that's the real challenge for communities like ours at DBM.  If we can build on our online foundations, then perhaps we can establish real-life connections too.  There is a shift happening - and you're each part of it.  Using the internet as tool we can reseed the lost common knowledge about breastfeeding in our real-life communities, and that will become real-life support.

Additional info:

*I should point out that I set the groundwork to our 'Mexican Standoff' over several weeks by a) trying to ensure sure her diet had nothing in it that she couldn't tolerate, b) giving her additional omega oils, probiotics and aloe vera daily to help calm her gut (which was functioning poorly because of her intolerances) c) ensuring that her poos were no longer hurting her (the reason for her reluctance), and d) I chose my moment very carefully!

**In some people may feel this sort of intervention was right for them, of course.  All I'm pointing out with this anecdote is that medication wasn't necessary in our case.

1. If you think you can't afford a doula, you might be mistaken.  Help does exist to enable mums find the support they deserve - find out more here and here.


For your chance to win a year's subscription to Juno Magazine, or an Ardo Amaryll Manual Breast Pump, please enter using the rafflecopter below! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Now why not visit one of these other the blogs participating in 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding' Scavenger Hunt?

Where Roots Flourish

Really Rachel

Petra

Diary of the Milkshake Mummy

Smilernpb

'Mum to Mum Sharing' ~ Keep Britain (and Ireland!) Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt

This week's topic in the 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding' Scavenger Hunt is 'Mum to Mum sharing'.

Mothers help other mothers in all kinds of ways - it's what DBM does every day - peer breastfeeding support.  Who knows better than another mother the trials and tribulations of being a mum, never mind a breastfeeding one?  Mothers are each other's advocates and greatest resource.  However, rather than looking at the issue of support (more on that next week!), I'm going to turn to the topic of mother to mother milk sharing.  I've been ill most of this week and so I hope you will forgive that this post in the 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding' series is a re-cycled one.  I wrote it in February last year, when milk-sharing networks were being hotly 'debated' on the internet.  Some people thought they were a wonderful idea, others had serious concerns.  To an extent the debate has quietened down now, but I think the discussion is still a valid one....

Note - please see the bottom of this page for the current DBM/ Ardo breast pump giveaway, to enter the 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding' rafflecopter (for a chance to win up to £500 of breastfeeding goodies), and for links to other blogs in the 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding' Series.

  

My first batch of milk ready to send to our local Milk Bank.
I was proud to be milk donor for 6 months,
and I have also shared milk informally.

Since the arrival of online mother-to-mother breastmilk sharing resources such as HM4HB  (Human Milk for Human Babies), Eats on Feets , andMilk Share , a debate has been taking place amongst some breastfeeding advocates about it's safety.  When the debate raises it's head on DBM I get very nervous....  Emotions run high and people are very passionate about this topic - this makes it something of a minefield. 

However, it's an important issue and one we need to address.  Whilst I personally believe mother to mother milk sharing to be a wonderful thing, I also think it's important that we're realistic about the possibility of risk it carries with it. 

Risk is part of life.  We can't escape it - we can only manage it.  We all make 'safety-related' decisions every day.  Those decisions affect the health of our children. We choose their car-seat and the car they will travel in, as well as who will drive them.  We decide how, when, and if we should medicate them when they're sick. We make decisions about vaccinations, vitamins, what kind of foods we give them to eat and what kind of drinks we give them to drink.  Some of us make decisions about who will look after our children for us.  We can only really ever guess (to some degree) how safe our decisions are. We make our decisions based on our knowledge, our experience, and often simply on our 'gut' feelings.

Formula feeding is high on the 'risk scale'  - no doubt about it.  Human breastmilk from another mother is listed as preferable to formula milk (by a considerable margin) by the World Health Organisation .  However, many people still have concerns about sharing breast milk outside of a milk bank.

Some people worry that healthy donors should be donating to milk banks in order to support the weakest and sickest babies.  They are concerned that the milk banks will suffer.  I think this is a reasonable thing to be concerned about, although I think It's also important to recognise that not everyone can donate to a milk bank.  Many healthy women are unable to donate to milk banks.  Perhaps because (as was my personal experience) they take medication, and whilst it's perfectly safe for them to feed their own baby they are necessarily not eligible to donate to the milk bank.  Perhaps their breastmilk is considered too 'old' to be given to very young/ ill babies.  Most milk banks only accept donations from women beginning when their baby is under 6 months old  as this milk is more suitable for premature babies.  Should healthy babies be denied the benefits of these mother's spare milk just because they're not suitable donors for the milk banks?

Everyone, it seems, has an opinion.  For some people, the assurance that a woman is breastfeeding her own baby is proof enough that her milk is 'safe' to be shared.  Others are only satisfied if  they know the donor and their lifestyle personally, and they're uncomfortable with the idea of contacting a 'stranger' online for the purposes of sharing milk.  Some women will happily nurse each other's babies, and some other mothers who are strong believers in breastfeeding find the same notion unsettling.  Some people would simply rather give their child formula milk than milk from another woman, whatever the medical assurrances.

I think I would fall into a different category again.  I've already given my daughter another woman's milk - and I didn't think twice about it.  I will be eternally grateful to the stranger who made it possible for my daughter to avoid having any more formula in hospital.  However - that woman had donated through the milk bank.  She'd been tested and vetted by them, and I had confidence that the milk was safe.  If it had been a stranger from a website I'm not sure I'd have been as confident. 

If I were in the position of needing to feed my child milk other than my own again I'm sure I would want them to have human milk.  Without a doubt.  Milk banks don't usually have a surfit of milk available to healthy babies though, and I'd still prefer my child to have human milk.  So that milk would necessarily have to come from a mother 'outside the system'.  Would I be happy to give milk from an unscreened mother, though?  I'm not so sure about that.  You see, I'm fairly sure I'd want to have the donor screened (unless the donor was a close friend or my sister - so that's where my 'lines' are!). 

When I've asked about how one goes about getting screening most people seem to say it's not really necessary.  If the potential donor has given birth in the UK then they will have already been screened for most things as part of their maternity care. 

That's a great baseline - but what if your donor has been breastfeeding her own infant for (example) a year?  It will therefore have been well over a year since her blood was screened.  I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be wondering at the back of my mind if things MIGHT have changed for her during that time.  How do you - or she for that matter - know that (for example) her husband/ partner has been faithful to her during that time?  What about the other infections which weren't tested for in pregnancy? 

Despite all of our good intentions, things happen in life.  We encounter risk.  We encounter it every day of our lives.  All we can do is do our best to manage that risk.

As a mum, I would want to reduce all possible risk factors.  If I needed additional milk, and was lucky enough to have someone offer to express their breast milk for my child on a regular basis, I would - after biting their hand off - ask them to go through some screening.  And if the screening wasn't free, I would pay for it myself.  I am sure any potential donor wouldn't mind at all.  I should imagine I'm not the only mother who would feel this way.  

But the problem is, I don't think it's as easy as just popping into the doctors and asking nicely - perhaps it depends on your doctor, but for me I know it wouldn't be that easy ;)

Doctors should of course - by rights - be helping us all to make sure as many human babies as possible get human milk because it's best for their long term health and development.  But they're not.  Why they're not, is a whole other debate.

Recognising that the NHS is unlikely to prioritise screening for mother-to-mother milk sharing, I tried to find out a little bit about how one would go about getting the tests done privately.

First of all I called UKAMB  for their advice about what blood screening their donors go through , and they were very helpful indeed.  They told me that they screen for HIV 1 and 2, Hepatitis B and C, HTLV l and ll and syphilis.  They also recommended I share with you all the most recent NICE guidelines for mothers who want to donate milk to a milk bank .  This leaflet covers some of the questions which should be asked of any mother wishing to donate her milk - whether to a milk bank or to another mum.

This link  will take you to the page where the most recent NICE guidelines for the milk banks themselves are located.   UKAMB recommended to me today that any mother who engages in informal breastmilk sharing take steps to flash pasteurise  their milk.  The milk banks use a system of heat-treating their stores which is not available to us mums - however flash pasteurising is a helpful safety measure to put in place.

The lady I spoke to at UKAMB said she recognised that their 'bar' concerning the safety of donor milk from the milk bank is set very high.  Hopefully most people will understand that sick babies need to have potential risks managed even more than healthy ones.  Even traces of medications in a mother's milk which are harmless to a healthy baby can be a potential threat to a sick one.  Because it's a charity, and funds are sadly limited, making their donor milk as acceptable as possible for the sickest babies is what UKAMB needs to focus it's resources on. 

I feel it's vital that we encourage any mother who is considering donating her milk to approach her local milk bank first.  You can locate your nearest one here.   If more mums donated to our milk banks, we could be sure that fewer of our sickest babies were being fed formula - and fewer of them would become ill and die of NEC .  As a mum whose child was given formula in SCBU and went on to (only) develop a dairy allergy this is something I feel strongly about. 

There is also important information on the NICE document  about thebest ways to collect and store breastmilk.  I know most people who would even be considering breastmilk sharing are already experts at all of this (by the way), but it's good to know where the information is in case you ever need it!  

So - if a mother wants to ensure her donor has gone through a similar 'vetting process' to the one used by the milk banks she would need to do the following:

• ensure that the donating mum is tested for - and clear of - HIV 1 and 2, Hepatitis B and C, HTLV l and ll and syphilis.  
• ensure that the donating mother does not currently smoke or use nicotine replacement therapy (NRT)
• ensure that the donating mother does not regularly exceed recommended alcohol levels for breastfeeding mothers (1 to 2 units, once or twice a week).
• ensure that the donating mother has not used, and is not currently using recreational drugs (the answers to these questions are, ultimately, a question of trust for us AND the milk banks).
• ensure that the donating mother is not at an increased risk of Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease (CJD) (see www.hpa.org.uk for information on the risk of CJD).

You can check the safety (during breastfeeding) of any medications by calling the Breastfeeding Network's 'Drugs in Breastmilk'  helpline on 0844 412 4665. 

It's important to recognise that just because someone can't donate to the milk bank, it doesn't mean they can't share milk.  Many medications are completely safe to use whilst breastfeeding a healthy baby, just not an ill or pre-term one.  Mothers who donate to the milk banks are sometimes asked to discontinue their donations for a time whilst taking some medications.  They are usually still able to feed their own babies .

Despite donor screening being discussed as a consideration, I found it hard to locate information online about how to go about getting screening done and how much it costs.  Assuming the donor's NHS doctor won't do the blood tests (and we all know how hard it can be these days to get a GP to do any non-essential investigations) where else can you go?

Since DBM is based in the UK, I contacted the UK's largest provider of private healthcare - BUPA to ask about screening.  They were about as much use as a chocolate teapot...  Although they have many and varied 'screening packages' available, ranging from sexual health screening to 'well wo/man' screening they have no package which covers screening of a potential breast milk donor.  That's as much information as I was able to get out of them - and I was directed to call three different departments before I was given the number which ended in a recorded message...

After looking at a few more websites I came acresswww.medichecks.com  .  I rang them up and they were a totally different story - very knowledgable and helpful.  They charge 'full price' for the most expensive test and then a reduced rate for further tests.  By my reckoning the necessary tests would cost £489.35 in total with this private company. 

However, I spoke to a member of their team, and they are now going to offer the complete package of tests for a discounted £199 .  It's something there's (potentially) a real need for - and it would allay fears for a lot of people.  

It's still a lot of money though, and I recognise that some people might think that I'm flying in the face of the whole breastmilk-sharing concept to mention £££ at all ..  After all, not everyone will be able to afford that sort of money in one go, if at all.  I'm aware that some people may receive milk from more than one donor too, and this would put up the costs again.  With such a depressing economic climate it's certainly a potential problem.   However, when you take into consideration the many problems associated with formula feeding  and that it also costs something in the region of £480 to formula feed a baby for a year, £199 is a financial sacrifice some families may feel they want to make.

Formula fed babies develop differently to breastfed infants.  They are more likely to encounter health problems.  Formula feeding should be the last-resort option when breastfeeding isn't possible, and yet somehow it has become the default.

A formula feeding mother can diligently and lovingly make up each and every bottle of formula with water at 70 degrees and a newly sterilised bottle.  Her child is at an increased risk of many things despite her precautions.  A mother who wishes to give her child breastmilk can take all the precautions possible and it she still won't eliminate risk entirely.  Heck, I don't even know if I have hepatitis C (it's not one of the ones they test you for in pregnancy here), but I've breastfed for over two years now and I'm pregnant again.  Since a quarter of people here in NI don't know they've got the disease, some people might consider me irresponsible.  I'd have to disagree.  The risk is negligible.  I  believe I expose my family to much bigger risks every day.     

The decision about how much risk you expose your baby to if you're unable to breastfeed them yourself  - formula made up in advance, formula made up as needed, pre-made formula, donated milk, screened donated milk, screened and flash pasteurised donated milk - is a question of where your personal comfort-zones lie, and how you perceive the risks involved. 

We don't all have the same tolerance for risk.  

To be in with a chance of winning an Ardo Amaryll breast pump, please leave your name and email address in comments, along with your answer to the following question:

What is the name of the hospital grade breast pump available for hire from Ardo though their website? 

Now enter the rafflecopter below for the chance to win up to £500 of breastfeeding goodies!
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To read more posts in the 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding' Scavenger hunt and discover new blogs, click on the links below!

Ponderings of a Doula

Pobbing Along

Lactivist

My Mummy's Pennies

Mummy is a Gadget Geek

The Benefits of Breastfeeding (aka the 'so-called' benefits of breastfeeding)

This post was originally written as part of a series of blogs for the 'Keep Britain Breastfeeding Scavenger Hunt' 2012.  

Gah.

The 'Benefits of Breastfeeding' - a favourite phrase trotted out left, right and centre by doctors, and formula companies alike.  

If you don't do an *eye roll* when you hear (or read) about the 'benefits' of breastfeeding/ breast milk, then fair enough - it's an innocuous enough turn of phrase on the face of it.  However rather than trying to explain why I, and so many others, might prefer to say 'the so-called benefits of breastfeeding' I'm just going to invite you to watch this:

Dr Karleen Gribble speaking at the 'Hot Milk' Debate, 2008

You see, there really aren't any benefits to feeding your child at the breast.  Children who do not receive breast milk are not receiving what they are biologically programmed to receive, and what their small bodies are expecting.  They don't receive the protection their immature immune systems require and they don't receive the growth factors, and even stem cells, which have an impact on their physical development.  Infants who aren't fed at the breast may not receive the same regular, physical skin to skin contact that they are emotionally programmed to receive (although suggestions to help get around this are listed here).

But forget all about how gushingly *amazing* breast milk is (because there are people out there who really don't believe it's that big of a deal..) and think about what the baby experiences.

When a close friend of mine had her first child she had an experience that I think many new mothers can relate to.  She struggled in vain to get her new daughter to breastfeed (small wonder when a midwife shoved the back of her baby's head right into her breast so hard that the child developed a strong breastfeeding aversion), so my friend expressed her milk for several weeks until it all became too much for her.  Her partner wanted to feed their child, so did various grannies and aunties etc and so, within days of birth my friend's first child was being held and fed by a variety of different people.  Now, please don't get me wrong, this mum has an absolutely fantastic relationship with her daughter - she has taught me a huge amount about patience and understanding (and is a lesson to anyone about how being a mother isn't all about the breastfeeding *sigh*) - BUT - the  biologically expected order of things (the continuum) was effectively eroded for them both when breastfeeding failed.  How breastfeeding begins is important (and before you say it, NO, it's not everything and bad starts CAN be mended, but nonetheless it's important), for mother and for baby.  

  

When a baby is fed from a bottle, the general consensus amongst many people in our culture seems to be that it's ok to 'have a turn' at feeding them.  This is the same regardless of what's actually in the bottle.  When a baby is breastfed, it generally means that (in the early days and weeks anyway) the baby is only fed by it's mum, and she's often not far away.  That's simply the normal order of things.  We can argue until the cows come home (if you'll pardon the pun..) about how much any deviation from this biological norm matters or doesn't matter, but the reality is that breastfeeding is just what our 'inner monkeys' expect.  

The baby at it's mother's breast, smelling her smell, feeling her warmth, hearing her heartbeat, drinking her milk, feeling safe and secure.  Situation normal.

But what of mothers?  I don't think we talk enough about mothers...   

What's 'best' for mums?

Well - unsurprisingly - breastfeeding is.  Again, let's forget all the so-called 'benefits' (cancer reductions, diabetes reduction, weight loss, no periods etc etc),  and let's talk about the emotional stuff.  How do mums feel if they don't breastfeed?  The truth is that some mums are 100% fine with it - they stop and they quite simply never look back.  They say they're not bothered and I for one, absolutely believe them (not that it matters what *I* think anyway).  However, not breastfeeding isn't fine for everyone - because after a pregnancy our bodies do expect to breastfeed.

When my first daughter was on one of her (frequent) feeding strikes my husband gave her a bottle of expressed milk and she wolfed it down.   I cried the whole time.  After that, every time he gave her a bottle I'd leave the room and cry somewhere else.  Some people will think that that was plain stupid of me but I think others will understand.  I didn't know it at the time, but the sadness and loss I felt during those bottle feeds was perfectly natural.  Our 'continuum' had been broken, my daughter was getting fed but it wasn't by me (even though it was my breast milk in the bottle).  I felt a failure, but more than that I felt a sadness I couldn't rationalise.  

You see for me, having my baby at my breast, smelling her smell, feeling her warmth, feeling the suckling, knowing she was safe and secure meant a lot to me.  It meant 'situation normal'.

Numerous studies now show how skin to skin contact benefits babies, but the bottom line is that it benefits mothers too.  One study showed that mothers who had skin to skin contact for several hours daily during the first month post-partum scored lower for post-partum depression.  Other studies have similarly shown that mothers who breastfeed their babies at night are at a lower risk of PPD.  A 2011 review in The British Journal of Midwifery stated in 2011 that:

'there is clear evidence that breastfeeding helps to protect against PND.'

Most interesting to me personally is a theory which suggests that:

'Opting not to breastfeed precludes and/or brings all of the processes involved in lactation to a halt. For most of human evolution the absence or early cessation of breastfeeding would have been occasioned by miscarriage, loss, or death of a child. We contend, therefore, that at the level of her basic biology a mother’s decision to bottle feed unknowingly simulates child loss.' 

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=bottlefeeding-mimics-mourning

Now I know that it's not always as simple as a mother 'choosing' not to breastfeed her baby - I really do know.  I know it's often hard for mums to get the support and information they need to breastfeed, that's a big part of why DBM exists.  However, it's also true to say that rates of post natal depression (PPD) are higher than ever these days.  Women (and doctors) often cite an unhappy breastfeeding experience as a factor in developing PPD - and rightly so.  All too often new mums really do have a dreadful time of it.  Who could blame a woman who has endured repeated bouts of mastitis, cracked nipples and poor weight gain in her baby for stopping?  Not me!  However I can't help but wonder how that same mother might feel a few weeks/ months/ even years down the line...  I wonder if sometimes an initial feeling of relief is replaced by a sadness and if, for some people, that sadness contributes to depression.  To me it seems completely logical that supporting mothers to breastfeed properly would help towards a percentage reduction in PPD.  Sure I don't know how big a percentage, sure there are lots of factors which contribute to PPD and breastfeeding is just one, but all the same, isn't it worth considering?

I get mad when I hear that medical professionals are telling mothers to wean because of an oft-mistaken belief that you can't take anti-depressants and continue to breastfeed.  I get mad when doctors tell mums to switch to formula instead of directing them towards trained breastfeeding support to help them resolve their breastfeeding problem.  I've seen joy and relief on the face of a mother who has gone from weeks of pain to just a 'tickling' sensation in a matter of seconds with only a small adjustment.  Me, a (lowly) volunteer peer supporter called in desperation, helping when a procession of midwives, health visitors and doctors had failed to provide relief.  One GP in my locality even mistook that same mother's large breast abscess for a blocked duct!  How can any of this be right?  It's not right.

Breastfeeding is not 'best' - there are no 'benefits'.  However NOT breastfeeding is a much bigger deal than just denying your child a few antibodies.  Mothers and babies don't stop needing each other once pregnancy ends.  Even after the cord has been cut they continue to need each other on an emotional and very physical level - of course they do.  The inevitable separation of mother and child can be sudden or it can be gradual, and gradual is better for both.  So instead of talking about breastfeeding, we should be shouting about supporting mothers and babies properly.  If we did that, then the 'breastfeeding' bit would start to take care of itself and it would just become normal again.  And that would benefit everyone.