Are mums who breastfeed older children attention-seekers?

Is breastfeeding older children weird?


It seems some people think so.  Despite the fact the breastfeeding into childhood is actually biologically normal for human infants, it's something we rarely see in the modern world. 


TIME magazine caused a furore when they published a particularly challenging image showing an attractive young mother feeding her three year old son.  But was this picture in any way representative of what natural-term nursing really looks like?  

The percentage of people who breastfeed exclusively for 6 months is very small (something in the region of 1% where I live), so it doesn't take a genius to work out that if you've made it beyond a year, you and your child are in a tiny minority.  Get as far as two years (the minimum recommended by the World Health Organisation) and the situation is even more extreme.  After this point - as was demonstrated by discussion on the DBM group wall this week - mothers who continue to breastfeed their children often find themselves viewed with suspicion.  

One commentator on Facebook gave voice to this recently when he asked:

'are some mothers breastfeeding beyond 2 to further develop their children, or is it rather the case that they breastfeed to showing [sic] off or possibly as a way of attention seeking?'

One mother this week told us how a court judgement was forcing her to wean her two year old, and despite a complete lack of evidence to support any such recommendations, many mothers in our group report being advised to wean their older children by a variety of health professionals.

I have to ask - why are we so against nursing older children?

Comments like 'are you still going to be feeding him when he's at college?' are fairly standard, but anyone who takes five minutes to research the subject will soon discover that that's not even physically possible.  As children grow their jaw and teeth change and develop in such a way that weaning occurs naturally - they simply lose the ability to latch and nurse effectively.  The immune system of a child continues to develop up until around the same point.  Co-incidence?  I think not.  They're called 'milk teeth' for a reason, people.

'In a group of 21 species of non-human primates (monkeys and apes) studied by Holly Smith, she found that the offspring were weaned at the same time they were getting their first permanent molars.  In humans that would be 5.5 - 6 years' ~ Kathy Dettwyler

Of course breastfeeding an older child is very different to breastfeeding a younger one.  One study into longer-term nursing showed that the timings and frequency of breastfeeds:

'were not different between the 1-year-old and 2-year-old age groups but were significantly lower in the 3-year-old age group.'. 

Children generally breastfeed a good deal less as they get older.  Shocking, I know.

The milk they get is different too - the antibodies become more concentrated the less your child feeds.  There's a much perpetuated myth that mother's milk is somehow 'no good' after point x - but that's total rubbish.  One mother of a 2.5 year old had her milk analysed, and a sample of just 6 ml was found to contain at least 7,850,000 living cells - that equates to roughly 38,692,035 an ounce!  In mature milk the white cell count is estimated to be somewhere between 0.1 million and 1 million cells per ml.  White blood cells (aka leukocytes) are:

'cells of the immune system involved in defending the body against both infectious disease and foreign materials.'  ~ Wikipedia  

Breast milk is full of the antibodies produced by these white blood cells.  The highest levels of antibodies in human milk are found in colostrum, however evidence now shows that levels of some immunological components in human milk actually begin to increase towards the end of the second year.  No studies that I'm aware of have looked at human milk beyond the 24 month point, but this steady rise between 12 months and 24 months is interesting.  Are we to believe that this upward trend just stops in it's tracks, right at the point when our kids are starting to mix with other children, encounter more viruses and illnesses and feed less frequently?  I don't buy it.

We know for sure that stopping breastfeeding increases the statistical risk of a range of conditions including some cancers and obesity.  So what's the problem?  The mother's happy, the child is happy, they're both healthy and are happy to continue nursing, so WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

Well, unlike most people (who will insinuate it rather than say it), I 'll just say it - it's to do with sex.  Isn't everything?  In our culture breasts = sex - and the thought of an older child sucking on their mothers breast is, for many people, a bridge too far.  They're just about ok with it when the child is a babe in arms, but a few short months later, when they're walking about, with TEETH, then it's DISGUSTING!

So, to summarise the problem.  1/ the older child is being nourished at their mother's breasts 2/ the mother is getting pleasure out of it.

Pardon me?

Yes, you read that right, the mother may even be ENJOYING it.  :-O

Now before you all start punching your computer screens, hear me out.  People seem to have a problem with the concept of breastfeeding as enjoyable.  Probably because they equate enjoying having your breasts suck(l)ed with sex (because it's GOT to be all about sex, obviously.....).

Breastfeeding does have something in common with sex of course - the oxytocin release.  That lovely hormone which 'lets down' the milk, is also the hormone released when you have an orgasm.  But there's just one problem with this theory, and it's this:  our bodies produce oxytocin in all kinds of different situations - when we hug a friend, when we think happy thoughts, when someone smiles at us, when we laugh etc etc.  It's our body's natural antidote to stress.  So enjoying breastfeeding is OK - you're actually meant to, in exactly the same way you'd enjoy a hug or a bar of chocolate!

The problem remains though - there is a small person sucking on your breast (and since in our culture sucking on breasts is largely a sexual preserve) and that's just weird, right?
  

But is the implication that some mums 'get off' on breastfeeding in any way fair?

Ann Sinnott conducted a survey of 2040 mothers for her book 'Breastfeeding Older Children'  and, in a sub-survey of 181 women, looked at the range of sexual sensations women reported experiencing during breastfeeding.  7.18% of the respondents reported 'high' level sensations - however many of the participants questioned Ms Sinnott's use of the word 'sexual' in the context of the study and insisted that the sensations they had experienced were more 'sensual' than sexual.  Sinnott also suggests in her book that some of the responses might be accounted for by an 'involuntary hormonal/ physiological reaction' in a percentage of women - involuntary means something you have no control over btw...

So what does this tell us?  Well, some people are bound to suggest that a (small) percentage of mums who breastfeed older children are indeed doing it 'for themselves' - because here's the proof!  However, this assumption fails to take into consideration a range of other factors - not least the fact that a child who doesn't want to breastfeed can't be 'made' to by a domineering mother.  Should the fact that a small minority of women in Sinnott's survey reported high level sensations during breastfeeding worry us?  Well, in my opinion no.  There's a world of a difference between experiencing a sensation (which in a different context might be interpreted as sexual) and the abuse of a child.  Whilst some of the women were not bothered by any sensations (they were able to rationalise them), a number of the women reported feeling ashamed and disturbed by what they had felt.  In the context of a discussion about nursing an older children none of this is relevant, however, unless you can prove that the sensations intensified over time.  All this survey shows is that for some women, breastfeeding caused high level sensations - period.  Not breastfeeding an older child.

There is no evidence whatsoever to support the notion that women who breastfeed older children are in some way abusing them.  In fact, available evidence actually suggests that breastfed children are less likely to suffer from abuse and neglect.  Sinnott quotes an American study done in 2003 which:

'followed 7,695 mothers over 14 years and found that breastfeeding reduced the incidence of child abuse and neglect to a probability of 0.001, concluding that 'breastfeeding may be protective against child maltreatment by enhancing the quality of mother-infant interactions and stimulating the central oxytocin system, thus reducting levels of maternal anxiety'.'*

One of the biggest problems I have with people suggesting that there is something wrong in nursing beyond age x is this: a child being mothered at the breast until they self-wean is NOT a problem for society.  We're not a culture in danger from 'over-mothering' - quite the reverse.  1 in 10 children in the UK have a mental health problem.  We have more kids in care than ever before, on 31st March last year 50,552 children were known to be 'at risk' of abuse on child protection registers - and the true figure is likely to be much higher.  Do people really have nothing better to do than get their knickers in a twist over sustained breastfeeding?  What's it to you if my three year old breastfeeds?  It's not doing you any harm and it's benefiting both of us, so (as we say in Norn Iron) why don't you just 'wind your neck in?'.  Your ignorance is showing.

I can't speak for everyone, but by the time I had breastfed for a while, my own breasts had become very much 'dual function' anyway.  Whereas at one time they had had solely a sexual function, they came to function perfectly well as food/ comfort too.  Who'd have thunk it? ;)  These two identities can - really and truly - exist perfectly happily alongside one another.  My brain is perfectly capable of working out the difference between feeding my child and sex.  So is my husband's, I'm delighted to say.  I can kiss my kids on the mouth without it being sexual, and yet a kiss from my other half can have a distinctly different effect.  The human brain is clever like that...  I understand that what I'm saying might be a tad difficult thing for anyone living in such an overtly sexualised society to get their head around, but if you haven't done it then you won't know - so you'll just have to take my word for it.   

I'd like to give the last words to the gorgeous Jenny Allen who was brave enough to discuss breastfeeding her older child on (Nestle-sponsored) GMTV.  Here she elegantly and eloquently confronts incredible ignorance from both the presenter and a well-known UK doctor (although he does get paid to endorse follow on milk so it's hardly surprising).  Jenny holds her own beautifully in this interview - another mother who went on tv to talk about sustained breastfeeding was not so lucky (although through no fault of her own).  

Anyone who thinks a mother breastfeeds her older child for her own benefit or because she is somehow 'showing off' is living in cloud cuckoo land.  This isn't the 'Breastfeeding Olympics' - there are no medals.  The idea that someone would willingly subject themselves to the ignorance and innuendo which accompanies sustained breastfeeding simply for their own sake is crazy.  Be under no illusions - mums do it because it's good for their children.  

* L. Strathern MBBS, FRACP , 'Breastfeeding and mother-infant separation; independent predictors of child abuse and neglect',at the November 2003 AAP Section on Breastfeeding Educational Program
http://kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/immunefactors/ 

http://books.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=1577&page=134

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/why-breast-best/how-human-milk-protects-babies-illness http://lactationnarration.com/index.php/tag/antibodies/ 

http://www.whale.to/a/dettwyler.html

http://www.healthychild.com/for-healthy-immunity/breastfeeding-for-a-strong-immune-system/

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1548-1433.2011.01401.x/full

http://www.uic.edu/classes/osci/osci590/9_4%20The%20Anthropology%20of%20Breast%20Feeding.htm

http://www.llli.org/nb/nbnovdec96p164.html

http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=MAbQjY0ppgQC&pg=PA303&lpg=PA303&dq=human+milk+little+and+often+primates&source=bl&ots=sD-Iq4WySd&sig=yrBn-uocaCbrI7P1HxS7SB1ToO8&hl=en&sa=X&ei=-t6mT-eWO4m-8gPpnuTgBA&sqi=2&ved=0CFkQ6AEwBA#v=onepage&q=human%20milk%20little%20and%20often%20primates&f=false